Tag Archives: Psychology today

Are you surprised

We already know this!!!

Men don’t like to talk about any much other than work, sports, financial matters etc and women we talk to damn much… thats pretty much it but you can still read the article:

Here is another article from my favorite magazine:

The topics of conversation chosen by men tend to be “safe” topics, such as work, sports and financial matters. Men’s speech tends to revolve around external things and usually involves factual communication, not his feelings or inner thoughts. In contrast, women will incorporate more person-centered topics and initiate interpersonal matters. Her speech is more apt to deal with feelings than men’s topics of conversation. As Brown and Nelson (2009) suggest, “Women talk about everything and anything. You name it. Women will reveal their insecurities, their latest diet, the trials of their uterus, their dreams and the list goes on. Any topic is fair game. Two women strangers sitting next to each other on a two-hour plane ride will arrive at their destination knowing how many children each has, their marital troubles, any school dilemmas, and what kind of birth control they each use” (p. 42).

Psychologist Dr. Judith Tingley (1994) once described the differences in women and men’s conversation topics. It stemmed from a sailing lesson she took with four men and a male instructor. In Tingley’s words, “The majority of the conversation centered on business and money. There was no discussion of people, feelings or relationships. No one mentioned a wife, a child, a brother or sister, a mother or father. The conversation was almost totally about each individual man and what he had done or seen or been, relative to sports, business or money. Men are private about anything having to do with relationships, feelings and emotions. They usually only disclose to significant others the private aspects of their lives” (p.24).


Gentlemen ,Please put the “PORN” down

Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is A Growing Problem

This is a serous problem… Please read!!!

A growing number of young, healthy Internet pornography users are complaining of delayed ejaculation, inability to be turned on by real partners, and sluggish erections.

Desperate young men from various cultures, with different levels of education, religiosity, attitudes, values, diets, marijuana use and personalities are seeking help. They have only two things in common: heavy use of today’s Internet porn and increasing need for more extreme material.

Many have previously been to doctors, undergone various tests, and been declared “just fine” physically. Neither they nor their health care providers considered excessive porn use as a potential cause of their continued performance problems. Most were assured that “masturbation cannot cause erectile dysfunction.” (Probably true, but unfortunately Internet porn use can.) The final diagnosis was generally “performance anxiety.”

Not long ago, Italian urologists confirmed an erectile dysfunction-porn use connection via a large survey. When interviewed about the survey, urologist Carlo Foresta (head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine and professor at the University of Padua) mentioned that 70 percent of the young men seeking clinical help for sexual performance problems admit to using Internet pornography habitually.

Recovery appears to take 6-12 weeks, and rests primarily on one factor: avoiding the extreme stimulation of Internet erotica. (Many also avoid masturbation for a time, either because at first they cannot masturbate without porn fantasy, or because climax triggers binging.)

Among those who recover, progression is surprisingly similar. Men typically report that after a few days of intense sexual cravings, their libido plummets and their penis seems “lifeless,” “shrunken,” or “cold.” These “flatline” symptoms typically continue for up to six weeks on average, dependent upon age and intensity of porn use.

Gradually, morning erections return, followed by libido and, perhaps, occasional spontaneous erections. Finally, there is complete recovery of erectile health, sexual desire for real partners, sex becomes extremely pleasurable, and condom use is no longer problematic.


Touching makes you healthier (Not just that other kind of touching)

This is a great Article from Psychology today.. My favorite magazine

(Health.com) — Whether it’s a squeeze of the hand, a big bear hug, a kneading massage, even a bedroom romp, touch is shaping up to be the ultimate mind-body medicine.
From lowering blood pressure and heart rate to increasing immune function and relieving pain, getting touched or doing some touching makes you healthier — not to mention happier and less anxious.
How do you tap into these body-boosting benefits? Let us count the ways.

Get a rubdown
Anyone who’s ever gotten a massage — even a quickie at a mall kiosk — knows that it helps you unwind. That’s not just a mental sensation: Getting massaged causes muscles to unclench, a racing heart rate to slow, heightened blood pressure to fall, and levels of the stress hormone cortisol to drop. In that relaxed state, your body is able to regroup and recharge. One happy result: a more robust immune system.
“Cortisol suppresses the immune response,” explains Roberta Lee, MD, vice chair of the Department of Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City. “Anything that increases the relaxation response triggers the restoration of your immune response.”
Recently, researchers measured immune function in healthy adults who got either a 45-minute Swedish massage or 45 minutes of lighter touch. The massaged group had substantially more white blood cells — including natural killer cells, which help the body fight viruses and other pathogens — and fewer types of inflammatory cytokines associated with autoimmune diseases.
It’s too soon to know whether regular massages will, say, keep you from catching a cold, but “it’s not an unreasonable speculation,” notes lead study author Mark Rapaport, MD, chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles.

Hug it out
The act of embracing floods our bodies with oxytocin, a “bonding hormone” that makes people feel secure and trusting toward each other, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces stress. Women who get more hugs from their partners have higher levels of oxytocin and lower blood pressure and heart rates, according to research done at the University of North Carolina.
But a hug from anyone you’re close to works, too. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin at Madison tested that when they analyzed stress levels among volunteers giving a presentation. Afterward, participants who got hugs from their moms saw decreases in cortisol levels an hour after the presentation.

Hold hands with your honey
Twining your fingers together with your one-and-only is enormously calming. James Coan, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, discovered this when he administered functional MRIs to 16 married women while telling them they might experience a mild shock.
The resulting anxiety caused the images of their brain activity to light up like Christmas trees. But when the women held hands with one of the experimenters, that stress response subsided — and when they held hands with their husbands, it really quieted down. “There was a qualitative shift in the number of regions in the brain that just weren’t reacting anymore to the threat cue,” Coan says.
Even more intriguing: When you’re in a happy relationship, clasping hands reduces stress-related activity in a brain area called the hypothalamus — which lowers the levels of cortisol coursing through your system — as well as in the part of the brain that registers pain, which actually helps keep you from feeling it as much.

Have sex
No surprise — after all, lovemaking involves total-body contact. All that skin-to-skin stroking (not to mention orgasm!) floods us with oxytocin and feel-good endorphins that do wondrous things for our emotional well-being.
Regular sex also does the physical body good, possibly even preventing us from getting sick as often. People who had sex once or twice a week had 30 percent more infection-fighting immunoglobulin A (IgA) in their saliva than those who didn’t do the deed as often, according to a study done at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
Not partnered up? Solo sex counts, too: At least one study links masturbation with lower risk of depression.

Cuddle up with your pet
If you’re a pet owner, you’ve no doubt noticed you’re less tense when scratching your animal behind the ears. In fact, research shows that people’s blood pressure drops when they pet dogs, particularly if it’s a dog they know and love. Dog petting has also been shown to improve immune function and ease pain, or at least the perception of it.
“You’re focusing on the animal, not on you, so your mind isn’t able to ruminate about the pain,” explains Brad Lichtenstein, a naturopathic physician and assistant professor in the counseling and health psychology department at Bastyr University in Seattle. (Experts say snuggling with any furry pet should be just as soothing.)
So don’t resist when your pet curls up with you — spending quality time together may be just what the doctor ordered.

Touching not only with a partner but friends, pets and those around you… I completely agree. Let me see if Charles needs a hug today.. lol!!

Finally Something worth reading… Open Marriage, Healthy Marriage?

Open Marriage, Healthy Marriage?
New research shows open marriages are healthier and happier

Only people who have been in long term relationships might agree with this article. Based on the title I am sure some of you perverts are thinking an open marriage means you can go hang out and have sex with people outside your relationship.. SORRY but that is not what this is about. I realized that personally I need someone that will help me grow and support me emotionally /Spiritually more than in other areas. Sometimes all we need is that person who knows us and encourages us to keep seeking out our dreams and develop as a person. I know there have been times where I felt I was being supportive in helping my partner grow but they may not have felt that way. However, whenever you ask someone why they are not with their ex, they usual say they were not supportive, felt stuck or could not breath in the relationship. Now that I am seeking out my dream I know that I want a partner who will encourage me to grow as a person by allowing me the space to experience life and bring it back home to share with them.. blah blah blah.. 🙂

Just the read the damn article..

Current research and views of Western marriage support the idea that an open marriage, supporting the growth and development of the individuals within a marriage, creates the healthiest environment for a happy, long-term relationship.

Arthur Aron and Gary Lewandowski are psychologists who recently published research about the things that make healthy marriages last. They found that qualities such as healthy communication, social support and mental well-being contributed most to making marriages last. But, these things didn’t predict how happy a marriage was. Instead, the degree to which a marriage, and one’s marital partner, helped an individual grow as a person, and expand themselves, was the single variable most predictive of that person’s judgment of their marriage. In other words, people who feel that their husband or wife has helped them to grow as a person, to learn new things, to become a better, different person, are most likely to view their marriage as a positive, healthy and vibrant thing.

When Nena and George O’Neill wrote their book, Open Marriage, the media and society grabbed onto a small piece of their concept, the idea that married partners might have sex with people other than their spouse. In later writings, the O’Neill’s expressed regret over this, and the fact that the term “open marriage” was now synonymous with sexual nonmonogamy. The O’Neill’s were writing at the end of an era when women had been returned to the kitchen, after working in the factories during World War II. During the Fifties, American culture strongly asserted the value of the traditional marriage, where a wife stayed home and the husband went to work. A wife and husband were supposed to be everything to one another, to satisfy each other’s every need. Best friend, soul mate, confidant, bedmate, all wrapped into one pretty, neat, tidy package.

But, this is a stifling, growth-retarding package and recipe for a relationship. Fifty years ago, the O’Neills argued that healthy marriages were ones that recognized the need for individual growth of each person in the marriage. And growth comes from encountering and reacting to new things, new ideas, and new people. Rather than expecting people to grow, trapped in a fishbowl with one other person, the O’Neills said that husbands and wives needed relationships and experiences with people other than their spouses. Not necessarily sexual or intimate relationships either, but even just friendships, and professional relationships. Experiences that help each person to continue a lifetime of growth, in partnership with their spouse.

The lovely thing about the recent research by Aron and Lewandowski is their support of the underlying concept that a healthy, happy marriage is one that is comprised of two healthy, happy individuals. Health and happiness are driven by growth, not stagnation. A healthy marriage is thus one that provides a stable, safe “home base” for each partner to venture out from, acquiring new experiences, and bringing them back home to digest and grow. Before Socrates died, the story goes, he was reading a book about plant cultivation. A student asked him why he was bothering to do so, when he was condemned to die in a few hours. “Because,” he said, “When I stop learning, that is when I die.” Marriages are the same; when the people in them stop growing, that is when a marriage begins to die.

What do you think??


Beautiful People Really ARE More Intelligent

Intelligence is just as strongly correlated with beauty as with education

Beautiful people have higher intelligence than ugly people, especially if they are men.

Excerpts from the article
In a previous post, I show, using an American sample from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, that physically more attractive people are more intelligent. As I explain in a subsequent post, the association between physical attractiveness and intelligence may be due to one of two reasons. Genetic quality may be a common cause for both (such that genetically healthier people are simultaneously more beautiful and more intelligent). Alternatively, the association may result from a cross-trait assortative mating, where more intelligent and higher status men of greater resources marry more beautiful women. Because both intelligence and physical attractiveness are highly heritable, their children will be simultaneously more beautiful and more intelligent. Regardless of the reason for the association, the new evidence suggests that the association between physical attractiveness and general intelligence may be much stronger than we previously thought.

Now this all makes sense!!